Canada - Not Just America Jr.

Agustus 06, 2017
NOTE: This is a posting I was working on a twelvemonth or hence agone as well as but got some to finishing.

Canada , it form of grows on you...


Traveling inward Canada , I am reminded over again how different as well as yet the same our vecino to the North is.  We are bordered past times 2 countries , Canada as well as United Mexican States , as well as they are equally different equally black as well as day.  I made the fault , years dorsum , of traveling to United Mexican States past times RV , assuming it was similar Spanish-speaking Canada.  Wrong.

And yet Canada is non but an annex of the United States of America or anything similar it.  In fact , Canadians stimulate got a pretty practiced gig , equally they tin claim to go "like America" when it is convenient - when the United States of America is doing something good.  But they tin also claim to go "Not similar America" when nosotros produce something stupid similar elect a moron equally President (take your alternative , based on your political prejudices) or invade small-scale countries as well as kill lilliputian brownish people.  So they stimulate got the best of both worlds , actually , equally they tin go "America , Jr." equally Homer Simpson tagged them , when they desire to go , or go European , when it is convenient equally well.

But Canada is to a greater extent than than but your cool cousin who smoked pot as well as wore his pilus inward a pony tail.  Canada is actually a conundrum , when yous intend almost it.  As a collection of provinces that produce non ever play good alongside each other , they seemed to go to a greater extent than concerned alongside social judge issues than alongside geopolitical ones.  Conservatives betoken to Canada equally an representative of "what could happen" if ObamaCare is enacted , as well as Liberals betoken to the same direction - North.  Are both correct , or wrong?

To go certain , socialism is potent upwards here.  Medical attention is handled past times the authorities , as well as unless yous are a tourist (unlike inward the UK) yous don't stimulate got to pay for medical care.  And medical attention is land OK , but non spectacular.   Everyone has their horror stories almost the Health Canada , but doesn't seem to desire it to choke away , either.

And things are expensive upwards hither - nearly , but non quite twice , what they cost inward the States.  Gasoline , for representative , is almost $5 a gallon , the cost at which most Americans freak out.   But of class , Canadians smartly travail smaller cars , especially inward to a greater extent than rural provinces , equally they stimulate got farther to drive.  And nutrient as well as liquor are expensive equally well.   Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 inexpensive bottle of vino inward the States is $5.  Here , it is $11.  Clearly non a position for hard-core alcoholics!

Of class , everyone is on the dole.  Well , non everyone , but beingness on the dole , equally inward the United Kingdom of Great Britain as well as Northern Ireland of Britain as well as Northern Republic of Ireland , is sort of a thing produce to.  Wearing big Wellington boots , which are called "Welfare shoes" is the thing to do.  One 24-hour interval , many years agone inward North Bay , Ontario , nosotros stopped past times the side of the route as well as saw Mom as well as Dad walk out to the mailbox inward front end of their trailer.  We joked that they were waiting for their dole cheque , as well as oddly plenty , that is just what they were doing.  We saw them subsequently inward town , cashing it.  Today , I am certain this is all done electronically , similar nosotros produce inward the States.

North bay , of class , is famous equally the hometown of the writer of "For Better or Worse."  When nosotros checked into the RV green in that place , nosotros said nosotros were staying for 3 days.  The folks in that place said , "What's the affair , did your camper interruption down?  No i stays hither for 3 days!"

Despite this , nosotros institute it to go an interesting town as well as the experience was educational.  We met a Quebecois twain singing Country as well as Western songs at the green , as well as they sang inward both French as well as English linguistic communication , equally it was difficult to produce Patsy Cline inward French.  One of the older Quebecois a the green shouted at them , "Chante en Francaise!" over as well as over again.  After the demonstrate , I asked the twain what that was all almost (I bought their cassette , equally good , this was over 10 years ago) as well as they said that some Quebecois though that singing inward English linguistic communication was a political sin.  Go figure.

After looking at a Map of Quebec , even hence , I realized why the Quebecois are hence pissed at the Ontario folks.  If yous await at the map , a portion of Ontario extends Eastward into Quebec , similar an erect penis.  No wonder the Quebecois don't similar the Ontarians.  They experience similar they've been fucked past times Ontario for years.

Ottawa seems poised to penetrate Montreal

And oddly plenty , on this trip , nosotros saw this resultant fifty-fifty today.  Quebecois were mutual depression temperature , initially , until they discovered nosotros were Americans , non Ontario folks.  They loathe people from Ontario , but volition tolerate Americans.  We had a similar experience inward French Republic , oddly plenty , equally the French loathe the English linguistic communication to a greater extent than than Americans , as well as i time they discovered nosotros were Americans , they warmed upwards to us.  And after seeing the antics of English linguistic communication tourists , nosotros understood why.   300 years of animosity doesn't evaporate overnight.

But the Ontarian (Or Ontarioian , depending on which click-bait site yous ask) despise the Quebecois alongside equal vehemence.   And fifty-fifty inward the Western provinces , nosotros saw many locals ringlet their eyes when yous mentioned Quebec.  It seems than entirely inward New Brunswick , which has a pes inward each army camp , is in that place something approaching tolerance - as well as bilingualism.   But others stimulate got said I am incorrect almost that.

The betoken is , equally cool equally Canadians claim to go , they stimulate got their ain gear upwards of fucked-up bullshit to bargain alongside , but on a smaller scale.   And since they are a lesser presence on the footing phase , they don't engender the same reaction from other countries , equally they tend to bomb people a lot less than nosotros do.

And equally eco-friendly they appear to go , they stimulate got their part of ecological meltdowns.  The tar sands projects inward Alberta are claimed to go an ecological nightmare past times some.  And alongside the cost of fossil oil tanking , they are becoming an uneconomic ecological nightmare equally well.

And piece nosotros took an utter shit on the native Americans , Indians , or indigenous peoples of our Country , equally far equally I know , nosotros never kidnapped their children as well as sent them off to boarding schools , punishing them if they tried to speak their native tongues.   Taking a squat on indigenous cultures seems to go purpose of our shared British heritage.

So what's the point?  Beats me , other than it tin go form of irksome when Canadians blather on almost how much improve they are than the the States , when it suits them , as well as hence pass their winters inward South Florida , or produce their shopping inward Buffalo.   I hateful , it is a dainty position to go - yous tin position alongside America when it suits yous , distance yourself when it is convenient , as well as of class , non stimulate got to beak almost your ain messy internal politics.

Maybe nosotros should endeavor that angle.  Canada!  It's your plough to go footing superpower!  Have fun as well as go certain to write!   Meanwhile , we'll but sit down hither on the sidelines as well as criticize....  Hey , this is fun!  Sort of similar beingness a teenager again.


UPDATE:  Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 reader informs me that nosotros equally good , pose Indian children inward boarding schools.   The Australians did the same thing to their aboriginal people equally well.   It seems similar a Western thing , to desire to "modernize" as well as Westernize other cultures - Nippon (which wholeheartedly rejected it) , the Middle East , as well as hence forth.   We fifty-fifty choke on to produce this today , inviting immigrants from all over the footing to report , go , as well as alive hither as well as choke citizens , hoping they volition conform to the American Way of Life as well as export our cultural values overseas.  Sadly , it seems the entirely thing nosotros successfully exported to the Middle East was suit-wearing dictators , as well as their 24-hour interval inward the Sun seems to go fading fast.

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